Eifel 2020 (Germany)

After 7 years, F1 returns to Nurburgring only for some reason we're not allowed to call it the German GP.

And we celebrated by baking Dave's Wellie.

Based on the German/Austrian cake Donauwelle - meaning waves on the Danube. Unlike the Danube, this cake doesn't supply multiple power stations, travel through 10 countries or need the Széchenyi Chain Bridge to cross it, but much like the waves, it could churn your stomach.

A dense dry sponge mixture is separated in layers, with the upper portion having cocoa added. Cherries are scattered over the cake before baking so that they drop down through the sponge taking within it the chocolate batter. (Apparently, this is intentional.)

Two layered toppings consist of cold custard followed by chocolate. 

We chose to modify by replacing half the cherries with glace cherries to suit the fussy persons of our family. This later posed a slight problem with identifying which half of the cake contained which cherries. 

The final dark chocolate layer, we replaced with last week's chocolatey goodness (excluding the butter). The sequence of two cold, soft sloppy layers created a less than perfect finish.

Heidi took the lead again this week. Tally complained that she wasn't included in the cake, that she chose not to be a part of baking, so she joined for 10 minutes.

While this cake might have all the ingredients of a great teatime treat, it certainly contains something for everyone to dislike. Whether it's cold custard, dry cake, cherries or the chocolate slop we can all find something to grumble about.

For those of you who are relentlessly trying to imitate our misadventures, the recipe is below. Make sure to let us know what else you can find to dislike.

(P.S. There are leftovers if you want some.)

Mix to your heart's content

Evidence: She hasn't been eating the mixture

Speckled with cherries

Smeared with cold custard

Topped with chocolate goop and served alongside a lunatic

The finished item

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Recipe

Ingredients

For the cake sponges

125g butter, at room temperature

115g caster sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract (this is clearly too much, but I let Heidi lead)

3 large eggs

200g plain flour

1 /1/2 tsp. baking powder

pinch of salt

2 tbsp. cocoa powder

1 tbsp. milk

a few from a can of canned cherries, drained

a few glace cherries (Sian can eat the rest for you if you need)

For the custard topping

60g butter 

2 egg yolks 

30g cornflour 

60g caster sugar (and a few spoons more)

250ml milk

a pinch of salt

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

For the chocolate top

80ml condensed milk

3 egg yolks

60ml water

60g Best milk chocolate (Lindt 65% cocoa milk chocolate)

Method

1. Preheat oven to gas mark 4
2. Grease and line a brownie tin 20x20cm (this is half the size and half the recipe contents from other recipes we found, which thankfully means we have only half as much to get rid of now)
3. Beat butter and sugar
4. Add vanilla and eggs one at a time, beating
5. Add flour, baking powder and salt, mix gently so not to shower the kitchen in flour
6. Spread 2/3 of the mixture in the tin evenly.
7. To the remaining mixture add cocoa and enough milk just to return the consistency to the same as the previous
8. Spread onto the plain mixture, leaving little edges of the white mixture visible to ruin the final look
9. Place cherries of both forms over the cake. Start in a regular pattern with the canned cherries, but as you move onto the glace cherries lose the regimentally managed order and let the rows wander. (The photo doesn't look as bad as I remember this exaggeration being.)
10. Bake for 35-40mins
11. Leave to cool
12. For the custard, whisk egg yolks, cornflour, sugar and salt
13. Warm the milk in a saucepan to almost boiling
14. Pour the milk over the egg mixture and whisk furiously, until after 10 seconds Heidi's arm aches too much and pass to Daddy to continue
15. Pour all this back into the saucepan and continue to heat until thickened like good custard for pouring onto sticky toffee pudding (see Bahrain 2007, still a firm favourite)
16. Cover the custard with clingfilm touching the top surface to ensure it doesn't form a skin. Leave to cool.
17. Beat the butter and realise that it won't go 'fluffy' without sugar so add a few spoons of caster sugar, more might be better still.
18. Slowly mix in the custard
19. Spread onto the cake
20. For the chocolate, whisk egg yolks, condensed milk and water, heating in a saucepan until it thickness similar to the condensed milk started
21. Take off the heat and add chocolate, continue to mix until melted and even.
22. Spread onto the cake
23. Serve with plenty of drink to wash it down